Marlene and Jim

I have a dear friend, Marlene, who's husband, Jim, has dementia. I have watched him go down hill, memory-wise, this past year and a half. Marlene calls me to "dump". She needs someone to talk to and to say whatever she is feeling, knowing that I will never criticize her, no matter what.
Some of Jim's life is very sad. Because he doesn't remember, he asks the same question every 15 minutes until, whatever he is asking takes place. Marlene patiently answers the same question over and over, then calls me and screams!
Monday always meant that Jim golfed and Marlene went to her quilt group. On Monday Jim asks Marlene what day it is so he can take the right pills in his pillbox. When he hears it's Monday, he tells Marlene he's going to go golfing. He said that this morning! It was 20 degrees out! And, Marlene has told him he cannot drive anymore, doctors orders.


Surprisingly, there is humor. Jim suffered a heart attack this past summer. Marlene, with the encouragement of her children, opted not to have the surgery the doctor suggested for Jim. Because of the dementia, Marlene was afraid that Jim would be way too confused and would not remember to do the things you need to do after this kind of surgery. The doctor gave Jim 
nitroglycerin patches that are to be attached to his body and removed 12 hours later.
Marlene, the one with her mind still intact, puts the patches on Jim every morning and takes them off every night. BUT..............more than once Jim or Marlene finds two of the patches on
Jim. When she tells me this and we both laugh I ask her, "Who's got dementia?!?"
Jim forgets what the patches are for ( because he has insisted since June that he DID NOT have a heart attack) and when Marlene says they are nitroglycerin, he says, "You are trying to blow me up", then grins.